Porn.
Porn is an interesting thing. I personally am not a huge fan. I've dabbled, as most adults have, but it doesn't really do the trick for me.
I am not here to cast an ethical vote on porn. One, because it would be hypocritical on my part (considering my last statement), and two, because I don't think it's my place. I would, however, like to take a moment to address the consequences of consuming pornography if you are in a relationship.
For some couples, porn is not an issue. Both couples enjoy porn, and it can become a part of general foreplay. Awesome. Or, the partners have discussed porn viewing, and have decided that it is okay for them, and they have come up with some sort of porn policy that works in the context of their relationships. Also awesome. In these contexts, I feel that as consenting adults in a committed monogamous relationship, they have every right to make their own judgements on how porn will be a part of their lives.
The problem, for me, comes when porn becomes an act of deception. When someone finds out that their partner is using porn secretly, or has lied to them about their porn usage, it has a lot of really negative consequences on the relationship.
for one, it makes the deceived partner feel inadequate. They start wondering what they've done wrong to improperly satisfy their significant other. They wonder if their partner has lied to them about other things, or if their partner is no longer attracted to them. They worry that their partner is fantasising about other people when they are being intimate with them. When you find out your boyfriend is using porn, and he wakes up with morning wood, you wonder "is this for me, or the other girl he was dreaming about". It's hurtful.
Moral of the story: If you like porn, awesome. But sit down and have a conversation with your partner about it. Assure them that you still love them. Tell them why you like it (masturbation is healthy, you're bored, etc), figure out what bothers them about it, and come up with a compromise that makes both of you comfortable. Note that in the end, you may have to give up porn for your partner, but in the end....isn't sex better than jerking off anyways?
