dear blog,
sorry it's been a while.
my computer asploded.
I'll be back soon.
some days I need a vacation.
mom wants to take me to DC or Vegas this summer. The boys are going to the National Boy Scout Jamboree at FT AP Hill/DC in July, and she wants to go hang out with them/be girls together. I really want to go, but If I get this new job I'm applying for I'll have to work every day this summer.
It would be SO nice to go back East. Maybe I could see Tori/Rachel/Stacey/Laura/Alaina/Brianna...
humph.
humph.
ALD.
today I did something I thought I'd never do.
I cut someone toxic out of my life.
It hurts, it does. But it felt so good to finally say what I needed to say. To get all those bad feelings out of my heart, to put them on paper, and to just...close the books. To say: you haven't treated me as well as I deserved. I gave you so many chances and you just let me down. To say things that were a little mean but that needed to be said. To call him on his shit.
It feels good to have that off of my chest, and to know that I'm never going to take his shit again. It feels good to not be connected with him in any way. Not on facebook, not in life. It feels good because even though I really cared about Christopher Ricker, I know that he used me, and lied to me, and was a terrible friend to me. He broke my heart once, and he's hurt me in countless ways since then. I believed in the good that was hiding away in him, but I've since learned that that was just an act that he put on to get into my life, and to betray me endlessly.
I'm done with him. Permanently. And as much as it hurts to give up on the good in another person, it feels SO much better...SO much better to let him go.